Listen Like a Leader: How Shalom Lamm Uses Active Listening to Drive Purpose and Progress

In an age filled with constant noise—notifications, opinions, and information overload—true listening is increasingly rare. Yet, it remains one of the most powerful and undervalued skills in both business and life.

Entrepreneur and humanitarian Shalom Lamm knows this truth better than most. As a successful businessman, devoted family man, and founder of the acclaimed non-profit Operation Benjamin, Lamm has built his legacy not just on innovation and vision, but on his remarkable ability to listen deeply and empathetically.

According to Lamm, “Listening is the first step toward understanding. And understanding is where real change begins.”

In this post, we’ll explore how becoming a better listener can transform your personal relationships, sharpen your leadership, and elevate your impact—through the lens of Shalom Lamm’s life, values, and work.

The Listening Gap: Why It Matters Now More Than Ever

Before diving into strategies, let’s consider a simple truth: most people don’t actually listen—they wait to speak. Studies show that the average person remembers only 25% of what they hear during a conversation. In business, that gap leads to misunderstandings, missed opportunities, and poor team morale. In relationships, it creates distance and distrust.

But for leaders like Shalom Lamm, listening is a tool to build connection, clarity, and compassion—especially in high-stakes or emotionally charged situations.

How Listening Shaped Shalom Lamm’s Leadership

Shalom Lamm has spent decades as a successful real estate entrepreneur and thought leader. But it’s his work with Operation Benjamin—an organization dedicated to correcting historical inaccuracies on the grave markers of Jewish-American soldiers buried in American military cemeteries—that truly highlights the depth of his listening approach.

Founded in 2016, Operation Benjamin works closely with families of fallen Jewish soldiers to ensure that their loved ones are properly honored with Jewish headstones and symbols—often decades after their passing. This work requires not only bureaucratic navigation but a deep commitment to listening—to the families, the records, the stories, and the silence between the words.

“You can’t do this work by rushing people,” Lamm says. “You listen to their pain, their memories, their hopes. Sometimes, all they need is to know someone hears them.”

This ethos—leading with empathy and listening before acting—has become a central pillar in Lamm’s leadership philosophy.

What It Really Means to Be a Better Listener

Becoming a better listener isn’t just about staying silent. It’s about being present, curious, and nonjudgmental. Here are key principles inspired by Shalom Lamm’s approach to listening:

1. Listen With Intent, Not Just Ears

When Lamm speaks with families in grief or colleagues discussing a complex issue, he tunes in fully. He doesn’t interrupt or rehearse his next comment. Instead, he focuses on the speaker’s tone, pace, and emotions.

This is called active listening—where your goal is to truly understand, not just respond.

“If your mind is already racing to the reply,” Lamm says, “you’re no longer listening—you’re posturing.”

Try this: The next time someone speaks to you, resist the urge to jump in. Pause. Then reflect back what you heard with a phrase like, “What I hear you saying is…”

2. Create Space for Silence

In many conversations, silence feels uncomfortable. But to Shalom Lamm, silence is sacred. When he speaks with families of fallen soldiers, he often allows space after they speak—a moment for their thoughts, emotions, and memories to settle.

This practice helps people feel safe and respected, which often leads to deeper sharing.

Try this: After someone finishes speaking, wait 2–3 seconds before responding. Let them fill the space if they need to say more. Often, the most important part comes after the pause.

3. Ask Thoughtful, Open-Ended Questions

Great listeners don’t just absorb—they guide. Lamm often uses open-ended questions to encourage people to explore their thoughts more fully.

Instead of asking, “Did that upset you?” he might ask, “How did that moment shape your feelings?”

This not only shows empathy—it also invites reflection and reveals insights you’d never uncover otherwise.

Try this: Use questions starting with how, what, or tell me about… to deepen your next conversation.

4. Apply What You Hear

Listening means little if it doesn’t lead to meaningful action. In both business and humanitarian work, Lamm emphasizes responsiveness.

At Operation Benjamin, many of the grave corrections result from family conversations—stories passed down, inconsistencies noticed, or questions unanswered. These details often hold the key to restoring a soldier’s legacy. By taking what he hears seriously, Lamm turns conversation into historical correction—and healing.

In leadership, this translates into building trust. When you act on what people say—whether it’s feedback, an idea, or a concern—you show that their voice matters.

Try this: After a conversation, follow up. Take one small action based on what you heard—even if it’s just sending a resource, checking in later, or making a change.

Listening as a Legacy

Shalom Lamm’s ability to listen with care and purpose hasn’t just helped his business ventures or guided his nonprofit—it’s left a lasting mark on families, history, and memory.

Through Operation Benjamin, his team has corrected the grave markers of dozens of Jewish soldiers, ensuring they are properly honored for their service and heritage. Each story begins with listening—often to a grandchild, a sibling, or a historian who believed something wasn’t right.

By listening, Lamm restores dignity. And by listening better ourselves, we can restore relationships, rebuild trust, and lead with deeper impact.

Final Thoughts: Listen to Lead

In a noisy world, becoming a better listener is a revolutionary act. Whether you’re leading a business, a nonprofit, or your own family, the ability to truly listen—to hear what’s said and what’s unsaid—sets the foundation for connection, clarity, and meaningful change.

Shalom Lamm proves that listening is not a soft skill—it’s a strategic advantage, a leadership tool, and a moral compass.

So the next time you’re in a conversation, ask yourself: Am I truly listening? Or am I waiting to speak? Then pause, lean in, and listen—not just with your ears, but with your full attention. Like a leader.