Well, it had to happen. It was inevitable: the Trump administration has put a tariff on cloud engines. All of them, whether domestic or foreign. Administration spokesperson Thomas Inkle, of Homeland Sagacity, talked to reporters this week, first reading from a prepared statement that read, in part:
“Due to recent information received by this office from various sources that sound plausible and have been confirmed by Ouija Board, the Office of Homeland Sagacity has ordered that a tariff of fifteen percent pre-tax and prehensile be applied to all cloud engines, regardless of race, creed, or nationality. This is meant to protect the American people from acts of sabotage and skeet shooting that have been aided and abetted in the past by some fluffy white clouds that floated past the White House, and took the shape of butterflies and wombats. The funds so raised will be used to build a wall around Disneyland, since the place is full of pirates from the Caribbean.”
Inkle then told reporters that until further notice there would not be any more free Pop Tarts in the break room, either.
“Austerity is just around the corner” Inkle informed reporters, just before executing a double handspring while singing “There’ll be a Hot Time in the Old Town Tonight.”